pretty miserable

what day is this? I'm having a hard time using my brain to think today.

Last night I actually slept pretty good. The nights before that I just felt so overstimulated and if I did fall asleep I would keep dreaming about getting enough calories. My dog at least is sleeping good .. his dreams make him wag his tail.. lucky! lol

Since starting 80/10/10 it seems that this diet/lifestyle is all i think about and i feel like im going crazy. I'm not hungry, but i'm way under on calories. Then when i force myself to eat I feel shitty and have to sit down for a while. I haven't really gotten out of the house which im sure makes me feel crazier but I don't feel good. so…. this sucks. My mom and sister seem to be doing well and im happy for them. But I'm constantly wondering if I can do this. I don't want to lose a lot of weight…I'm worried about what my social life will be like because usually when people get together they eat… and i loved that part!

two nights ago I woke up with horrible pain in both my arms. assuming its a detox thing. then yesterday I made myself get up and go to the grocery store with my mom and sister to get more fruit. I could hardly walk I had pains in my back, my legs, my arms.

I do feel a lot lighter. like im floating lol.

hmmm what else. oh yea so I decided to stop taking the 5 hour energy (i usually take half of one every morning … ) figured that could have a lot to do with my feeling overstimulated all the time and not sleeping good. So i didn't take it today.. have had a horrible migraine most of the day.

lots of complaining… i know i know.. definitely questioning this whole thing. feels more like i have some eating disorder right now. still haven't given up though..

I am so nauseas … i'm gonna go lay down.

~Alison